happy birthday caitlin

some people like chocolate, so you make them a chocolate cake.

Caitlin really likes the Brooklyn bridge, so i did what i could.

tootsie

this is a chocolate "ribbon" cake
the "ribbon" is homemade tootsie roll
why yes actually, i am a sorceress, thank you for asking

the tootsie roll, which is called chocolate plastic... appetizing, is sort of easy to make.
1 pound semi sweet chocolate
3/4 cup light corn syrup

melt the chocolate until smooth. remove from the heat and stir in the corn syrup. stir like a maniac, a whisk will do the best job.

i'll be honest with you. there is a pretty good chance that this "emulsion" is gonna break. in that case put in a food processor and let it go for a while. it should end up looking like a thick gnache.

no food pro?
okey dokey

lucky for you, i was the guinea pig who got to fix the emulsion by hand way back when in pastry school. whisk until your arm falls off, add a small amount of water, just a few drops should do it. then switch arms and keep whisking. it should come together in a few minutes.

ask your doctor if you are healthy enough for strenuous activity. do not attempt if you can't sit or stand for a half an hour at a time, or get easily frustrated and have a habit of throwing things, or taking your anger out on the cat.

...

no, seriously

aaaaaaaannywho

wrap it up and let it sit. overnight!
seriously
do not skip this step
it can be made a few days in advance
when it's time to use it, warm it up in your hands until it's like a giant pliable tootsie roll.

i rolled this chocolate plastic out in a manual pasta roller. that's right, this is a sweat fest till the end.

roll it out thin and then do pretty much whatever you want with it. culinarily speaking of course.

the inside was chocolate mousse, minus the booze
and vanilla cake
but it was geniose
which is gross
i ate around it
and you say it like jen-wa
the french came up with a lot of cool stuff
but I'm not a fan of their sponge cake
so i shall not pass on the recipe
look it up yourself french enthusiasts.

fondant?

When most people are asked to describe their happiest day, it usually revolves around cutting into that big wedding cake with someone special. In my case, it’s more about standing in front of that wedding cake, all alone, and realizing exactly what I created. Much like a first marriage, my first real cake will always hold a special place in my heart.



This was only my second experience with fondant, but its construction hooked me on the mysterious edible play dough, despite the fact that its taste has been compared to that of ‘old people’.

The cake was the final project for my pastry course. It was also my pride and joy.

Blue and white are really classic colors and I had to exercise a lot of restraint not to over work them. Instead, I went with old fashioned embroidery piping... well, because i'm classy.

I free handed the pattern, for some insane reason. The other students told me I was ballsy, which I loved. One can never receive enough compliments about ones balls.



I also heard it referred to as ‘The Wedgwood cake” constantly. I nodded and smiled like any sane person who has no idea what’s going on. Unfortunately, Google quickly revealed that this Wedgwood guy ripped off my cake pattern.

The bitterness passed, because the cake was delicious.

I hope that if Mr. Wedgwood ever reads this, he can take a joke.

this was a birthday cake i made for my boyfriend. i think it's pretty sweet... arrrrrg